I can pretend no longer.

There is no point anyway.

I have to lose an old friend,

One I have known all my life.

The one I confused for myself. 

I struggle, I don't want to let go

what I detest most. 

Perhaps it is me afterall. 

Perhaps it is not.

I will burn myself.

Incinerate myself to nothingness.

To live 

it seems

I have to die first

Okay, sorry, the last line is clichéd but can't be helped...