The journey of a rebel who appropriated every cause, except that of religion, is over. Does that make me a conformist? I don't know. I now do things out of a sense of detachment even while working for place that is all about a higher cause. I don't know and hardly care what has come over me. I have only one destination, one desire, one hope, one mean (never used means in singular before – don't know if it even means anything, nor for that matter any of this) of salvation. Self-interest and self-obsession has taken over. I have become (or was I always like this?) what I have always criticised – the apathy, the disinterest, the sheer lack of motivation for anything. I am not myself or is this the real me? Is this what humans were supposed to be – the 'natural' way of being? Am I human finally? Lots of questions – and I don't ever care if they go unanswered. As I embark on a journey that will disrupt many lives I wonder if I will even feel guilty enough. I don't like this self. But don't dislike it enough. You are welcome to dislike me from now on – I have stopped being the person who wants desperately for people to like her. I am, what exactly?